


I'm sorry

by succ_ka_bvi



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Apologies, Bullying, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Sad with a Happy Ending, Slightly - Freeform, triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 01:38:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14822765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/succ_ka_bvi/pseuds/succ_ka_bvi
Summary: It's me from highschool. Maybe we could meet up?





	I'm sorry

It had all started over a Facebook message. It wasn't often that Jungwoo would get them, yet clicking the notification, his heart stuttered when he read the name displayed in front of him. It couldn't be, Jungwoo was in disbelief.

Kim Dongyoung, in bold stood out for Jungwoo to stare in shock. He could never forget that man, not when he tormented and picked on the younger for so long throughout his highschool years. It was all so sudden, and Jungwoo didn't want to read the message straight away. _What would he want now? Now everyone has moved on with their lives, what could he possibly want?_

_[Kim Dongyoung] Hey Jungwoo_

_[Kim Dongyoung] It's me from highschool. Maybe we could meet up?_

_[Kim Dongyoung] I hope things can be arranged soon_

_Read: 19:24_

**__________**

And three days later, Jungwoo was waiting outside a local café, fumbling with his lighter trying to roll the sparkwheel down into the ignition button with shaky hands. 

He tried to remember all the pleasent things about Dongyoung; like how reliable he was to his friends, or how he was musically talented, admiring Exo's Kyungsoo and being able to play the flute. Jungwoo quietly chuckled to himself with a cigarette between his lips. Of course someone as perfect as him would degrade someone like Jungwoo. He was so handsome, and standing next to eachother, the younger was a pauper next to a prince, dressed in shaggy clothes with greasy hair.

Just as Jungwoo took the first drag of his cigarette, a pair of black pumps became visible in front of his worn out boots. And slowly looking up, he struggled as he tried not to blow cigarette smoke in the face of Kim Dongyoung, suppressing the urge to exhale.

“Should I find us a table while you smoke?” Dongyoung didn't sound as calm as Jungwoo thought he would be, the older tugging on his jumper sleeves and covering his knuckles.

Too shy to speak, Jungwoo just replied with two nods of his head, releasing a sigh when Dongyoung pushes open the door of the café and enters. He didn't know if it was the nerves that was making his heart skip a beat but Dongyoung glowed up honestly, even if he looked anxious as fuck.

Jungwoo took another drag of his cigarette, leaning against the wall while watching as the smoke disappeared into the air while collecting things to say. They could start it off with a normal conversation, with _‘how's life been?’_ or, _‘what ways have karma kicked you up the ass?’_ Jungwoo didn't know how to act in these situations really. He just hopes that Dongyoung has things to say. It was like he was so nervous that he was calm, and to be honest it didn't quite make sense in Jungwoo's mind. But the person sitting in there, waiting for him was the same person who had knocked him down so many times, brought down all the confidence in him back then. It's gonna be hard looking him in the eyes.

Eventually putting the stick out, Jungwoo takes a good minute before he walked in, glancing around and finding the older at the booth near the corner with what looked like a drink of coffee placed on the table ready for him. This was it.

Jungwoo walked over at took a seat opposite Dongyoung, smiling meekly when the dark haired man flashed a set of sparkling white teeth. It's a strange feeling because he still remembers that smile like it was yesterday. Maybe you do keep your enemies closer, but Jungwoo wouldn't exactly call him an enemy. God, he wouldn't have considered it back then either. It just happened to be him that they all picked on.

Disturbing all thoughts, Dongyoung spoke up first, “It's been a while, huh.”

“Yeah.” Jungwoo replied awkwardly, tracing his finger on the rim of the mug. They'd been messaging before they planned to meet up, so not everything's gonna be this dead, he hoped at least.

“You still haven't gotten out of that habbit of yours?” Jungwoo thought about what he could have possibly meant, before recalling the incident outside with the cigarette. _He remembered?_

Hesitantly lifting his gaze, Jungwoo hums, deciding to stuff his hands in his lap instead of letting them fumble on the table for Dongyoung to see. Of course the older had noticed how nervous he was because his look of empathy soon turns into a warm smile. “It's okay, don't be shy.”

The two spoke quietly for a while, mainly about what they're doing now job wise, none of them daring to speak up on the topic Dongyoung brought Jungwoo to the café for. Up until the older asked, “What do you remember about me in school?”

Scratching his head lightly, Jungwoo confessed all the things that the younger sort of admired him for, including the musically talented part. And he's glad that he made Dongyoung smile.

“What?” Jungwoo questioned dumbly, cracking a grin and pushing his fluffy hair back.

“Nothing, I just didn't expect them to be nice things. Jungwoo, how could you still be so kind to me after all this time?” Dongyoung rushed, hurrying to get all his words out.

“I never hated you.., can I call you hyung?” With Dongyoung nodding in response, Jungwoo carried on. “I never hated you, hyung. I understand that it made you feel tough and powerful.. or whatever your reason was.”

“Yeah,” Dongyoung continued, “People used to make fun of my teeth, s-so I guess I would say all those things to you to make myself feel better.” Jungwoo stated as the older teared up.

“What do you remember about me?” The brown haired boy was curious to what Dongyoung would say as the question caused his ears to perk up.

“Well, I remember your hair.”

“-And how you used to call me dyke because of it.” The two lightly chucked at that.

“I'm not even a girl, hyung.”

“Honestly, I didn't know the meaning of that word back then.” Dongyoung snorts, wiping his eyes as he tries not to let his tears fall. “I remember your lowest point.”

Tilting his head, Jungwoo suddenly recalled what he meant, nodding slightly while messing with his fingers.

“You don't have to but, wanna tell me about it?”

“It was erm.. around the time I was thirteen, right? Yeah, I didn't know that anyone noticed but-” Before he knew it, hot tears were slipping down his cheeks. “But I was raped, and I didn't even know it was happening until we were taught about it in class.” Silently thanking the older as he accepts a tissue from him, he wipes his face, refusing to look at Dongyoung's reaction. “By my older cousin. I-It was him that did it.”

It was barely a whisper, but Jungwoo lifted his head up when he heard the older, “I'm so sorry.”

Not knowing what to say next, Jungwoo nodded again, getting lost in Dongyoung's glassy eyes.

“Did you ever try to take your-..” Dongyoung hesitated. “Your own life?”

“Not you obviously, but whenever others would tell me to kill myself, I would try. I would.” The two probably looked like messes right now, crying opposite each other in a peaceful café. Thankfully, there weren't that many people anyway, and those present minded their own business.

Suddenly, a hand reached out and touched the younger's, slightly startling Jungwoo. “I'm so, so sorry.” Dongyoung apologised, running his thumb over the bumps on the brown haired boy's rough knuckles. “I called you all those names. Gay, flower, f-fag, to hide the fact that I was gay myself.” Jungwoo's eyes widened. “I wanted to be accepted by the older kids and by picking on you, they took me in.”

“Y-You're gay?” Jungwoo asked in complete shock.

Dongyoung chuckled, “Yeah.”

“Oh.”

Releasing Jungwoo's hand, the younger was tempted to reach over and grab the black haired man's pale hand again.

“Well, are you?” Dongyoung repeated Jungwoo's words.

“Mm.” Jungwoo hums, shyly shifting his gaze onto something that wasn't Dongyoung, fixing his eyes on the empty mug in front of him. And that reminded him. Fumbling around in his pocket, Jungwoo takes out a crumpled up note, going to slide it across the table but tensing up when a hand stops him. “For the drink though?”

“Keep it, Jungwoo. That was my treat.”

“Oh, thank you hyung.”

Dongyoung and Jungwoo spoke more, lightening up the mood by speaking about the present rather than past. Well, more Dongyoung talking to Jungwoo as the younger listens. You see, the older worked as a vocal trainer at a local school, wishing to set a good example for all the kids by visiting the person he bullied for so long. However, Jungwoo didn't exactly get the grades he had hoped for, turning to other things for money. And frankly, the younger was embarrassed to say, but Dongyoung was so understanding.

“Y'know, I forgive you for what you did. It wasn't just you, there were others too. But seeing how genuine you are, I know you're truly sorry, and I'm grateful for you messaging me, Dongyoung hyung. Thank you for helping me close whatever mess this was.”Jungwoo smiles.

Rising from his seat, Dongyoung makes his way over to the other side, opening his arms for the younger. The hug was full of emotion, Jungwoo holding him tightly as Dongyoung patted and rubbed his back. “I know it's probably hard to forgive someone like me, but I'm thankful. And I didn't realise how much we had in common.”

Pulling away, Dongyoung looks up at Jungwoo, flashing back a smile the younger's giving him. “Should I text you?”

“I don't want to see you again.” The two laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> :(:(:( inspired by jungwoo's hair in nct recording diary #1
> 
> ik that im terrible pls don't tell me


End file.
